If you have boys in your house please raise your hands. I have a few questions I’d like to ask you.
- Do your boys pee on the toilet seat?
- Do they aim when they pee?
- Should I just invest in a bulk pallet load of bathroom disinfectant now and save myself some unnecessary trips to the shops?
I watched a hilarious video by Kristina Kuzmic called “Penis Survival Announcement”
I laughed so hard, cause it was spot on. All of it. But I swear nobody prepared me for some of the gross things that boys do, without even knowing it, and none of them are over five yet!
Pee on the toilet seat.
I get up to wee often during the night, yes I drink lots of tea before bedtime so it’s my own fault. But what I always forget is my eldest does a wee before going to bed, usually in my bathroom. It’s always when I’m half asleep and busting for the loo that I sit down to wee, and then only when I get up do I realise what has happened. I’ve sat in pee on the toilet seat.
You’re probably thinking “what’s wrong with this woman, she’s a mom, didn’t she realise this would happen?”, well, um no. You would think after all the snot, vomit, diarrhea and various bodily fluids one has to deal with as a new mom, a toddler mom and a mom in general that I would’ve figured this one out. Nope, every time I go to the loo in the middle of the night, I sit in pee. I end up having to wipe off with wet wipes, change my pants (cause I’ve usually pulled them up by the time my sleepy brain realises what the cold breeze is) and then I’m generally annoyed and awake.
Please tell me I’m not alone in this? No matter how many times I tell my son to “watch where he’s weeing” and to “keep the pee in the toilet” nine times out of ten there’s pee somewhere in the bathroom, and I can smell it, then I have to play bloodhound to find it and clean it up.
I will say that the best piece of advice I got from a seasoned mom of four boys was “forget about having a bath mat”. I thought it was quite silly at first, then I started potty training.
Not silly, not silly at all! Good advice, best advice ever!
The fascination with squishing things.
Why must everything die? Whenever my eldest find something on the driveway, a snail, a worm, a songololo, it must get squashed.
I don’t know if this is an innate boy thing, but I fear for any living thing under three inches on our driveway when he’s out there, especially on his push bike. He will squash anything and everything in his path with that front wheel. Not just ride over it, no, that’s not nearly dramatic enough. He stops the bike, lifts up the front wheel and rams it down onto whatever he wants to crush. Like it is dead, properly dead, no coming back, no collect 200, gone.
My youngest is still at the age where he enjoys seeing little bugs and creatures, so he shouts with “oooh” or “wow” whenever he sees one, then he will always, and I mean always, try to pick it up. Much to my horror, cause I always think he’s going to put it in his mouth.
So I now spend a good deal of the play time outside explaining why we don’t squash every small gogo (bug) we find and try to stop the little one from collecting too many bugs.
I always new having a boy would be fun, having two boys is just crazy, but luckily I think we all become a little crazy to be able to keep up with their level of weird, don’t we?