I always feel like I need to explain why April 3rd is such a significant day for me, for us, as a family, we lost our first born 9 days after his birth due to birth complications, I have blogged about it previously and here are the links:
He was born six years ago, and as the years go on and life gets full and busy it becomes easier to cope with the memories and the missing. I think the thing that tugs at my heart the most is that we never really got to see him grow up, become a little boy, discover his personality and see him be part of our family like we had so vehemently hoped.
So I like to make the day significant, to honour him, not to mourn and be depressed, but to celebrate him, his short life and the fact that he mattered. He changed us for the better, we grew together as a family, learned some very important lessons about God and how He’s all loving, and most importantly of all, came out the other side. We had two more boys.
I will never forget while in hospital with my youngest, Shaw, he had just been released from the N.I.C.U. and we were still in the maternity ward and in pops Asher’s pediatrician! I never thought I’d see him, hadn’t seen him since Asher passed away and it was such a beautiful thing to see the look on his face when he saw me with my little Shaw. My husband had bumped into him in the ward and told him to come and see the miracle baby, we showed him photos of Cal (just over 2 at the time) and he was overwhelmed. I’ll never forget what he said “you see, you came out the other side and now you have a beautiful family”. God bless you Dr, you have no idea what that means to me.
It’s like God lets little encounters happen that help heal up the wound and he reveals to me little by little how His hand is in EVERYTHING.
So I’m taking a low key day, remembering and reminiscing on how far we’ve come as a family.